Work work work work…..wait

Am currently in the “well at least I heard back from someone stage,” of querying. I know this won’t last much longer. One agent responded within 53 minutes after I sent my query. “Not for me,” was the total reply. 53 minutes!

Surely they could have waited an hour. But already I know the quick response is better than the one I wait for.

After this I received a kind rejection. It was a form letter but a well thought out, kind one. I almost felt good for receiving it. Then the next morning I got it again.

“Just to be clear, we are NOT a fit,” they seemed to be saying. I stopped at 20 so far. For one that was about the amount of agents I found that seemed a possible fit. For another it seems around the number you should query at once, give or take. So I await and then decide what might need refining.

We wait.

Rolling the Dice. Not Always a Winner

In the 90’s U2 front man Bono wrote a song for one of his heroes. It is called “Two Shots of Happy, One Shot of Sad,” and I personally think it is one of the best things Bono ever wrote. It is a Frank Sinatra song, or at least feels like it should have been. But Sinatra never recorded it. This was not for lack of trying on Bono’s part. Bono, who was friends with Sinatra, sent the song to Frank multiple times but Frank always put him off. While there was finally some discussion Frank would record it, he died before that ever happened, and a songwriter at that point of his career not used to rejection, had one dream go unfulfilled.

So where am I as of this date with having my novel good enough to start querying? Well…I think 90%. Or I thought. But am I? I recently sent out my query and synopsis and first ten pages for some feedback. It was sprinkled with positives while being clear this person thinks there is still lots of work left to be done.

So I ask any fellow writers or creatives: When do you listen and when do you stop and just push forward? This is not to say the feedback I received was wrong. I found it quite helpful and am considering having this editor help me further, assuming time and my budget can afford it.

Whenever you send something out, you are leaving yourself vulnerable and open to feedback you don’t truly want, at least not a lot of. Sure, you are asking because you want to improve whatever you are doing to the best possible degree. But you want to be 99% there already. Sending out my novel to friends for feedback has been fascinating. It usually goes something like this:

ME: “I have written this early draft of a novel. Would you be willing to read it and give me some feedback?”

THEM: “Absolutely! I’d love to. Send it!”

Then I never hear anything.

Now I fully realize what I am asking is no small task. But the vast majority of the time the response becomes, “oh I still want to read that. Can you print it out? I don’t like reading on the computer.” Or “I’m just so busy. I will try to get to it,” Again, understandable, but after a year you figure that person is just not gonna read it. OR the worse thought, they read it and hated it and don’t want to tell you. Even Bono had to be thinking, “maybe Frank hates my song?”

But my novel, it’s good! It’s not perfect, but I know there are parts that are strong. I know the story overall is solid. Then there are the times you DO get feedback, usually by way of a critique partner in a writer’s group (they have been helpful, will likely mention them more down the road) or even someone you found online and paid a fee to for feedback. Sometimes that feedback is encouraging. Other times I come away with, “how did you possibly think that?” Or a person who stated he loved the novel as he was getting it a couple chapters at a time, said “please keep sending me the story,” after he had left the critique group. I did and he said something to the effect of “this is great. Send it out now as is!” Problem was, I still had three chapters left to send him. He thought he had read the ending but he had not. So should I have ended it three chapters earlier? Was he really paying attention? I think so.

So finding that balance of listening to feedback that is right and ignoring feedback that is simply wrong or wrong for you. Because if you send out your novel to 100 different people for critiques, each will find something wrong with it, whether it’s a first draft or “To Kill A Mockingbird.” Why, “To Kill A Mockingbird?” Because I pasted it into a program that gives feedback. The feedback came back with a list of ten things that could be improved. But it’s a classic! Now no, I am not saying I have written “To Kill A Mockingbird,” but I realized at some point you just have to send it out there. Be vulnerable, do your best of course but send it out. Because if you are anything like me, I never really finish writing anything. I just eventually stop. Because with unlimited time I would keep editing/rewriting until my death. And if Harper Lee had asked this same program for feedback on her masterpiece, she might have never finished it and given it to the world.

Nancy Sinatra eventually recorded “Two Shots of Happy, One Shot of Sad.” Not Frank of course, but a step above Frank, Jr.

https://youtu.be/0D2OBSFC5aQ?si=ShuJ4ZsjITTzrzW7

The Whiteboard

The Whiteboard was one of those keys I was missing. It’s silly, yes. But I needed one to have all my thoughts spread out in front of me. To both organize and brainstorm the story that was ruminating in my head. Actually I wanted a blackboard. One of those huge ones in high schools, probably more prevalent when I was in school than now. I went to an office supply store and they said they could get me one but it never materialized. Maybe it never fell off the back of the truck or school bus they were counting on. So my thoughts got compressed by 8 x 8 feet or so. Maybe for the best.

I bought books. Various “how to write a novel,” books. Outlining Your Novel, and Structuring Your Novel, both by K.M. Weiland. The Weekend Novelist, by Robert J. Ray. It was all organized and planned out, every single chapter.

And then I started writing. The killer turned out not to be the killer at all but someone else entirely. That’s the fun part of the process. The discoveries unexpected. Erasing and adding new ideas to see if they work. And now I’m close to the finish (of THIS step). Erasing the board is a bit daunting. I will miss looking at this scribble, but excited for all that blank space to start again.